In 1993, you were nobody unless you were rocking on of those sweet bucket hats with the flipped up brim. They were usually adorned with a flower, or if it was really cool, a fake sunflower, much like the style’s poster-child, TV’s Blossom.

Mine was all-demin, with a demin flower right in the center of the flipped up brim. It had pink plaid lining, and for the entire 3rd grade school year, it was my wardrobe staple.

Back in the day, these hats were like the female version of Air Jordans. You were no one unless you had one of these baby’s on your head. But it seemed like a year later, they were done. Over. And I was glad. Am glad.

Today, my denim Blossom hat is probably sitting in the bottom of a bin, in a dingy thrift store right now, telling all the other hats about that one time when it was the coolest hat on the block.

But I have a bad feeling these relics of the 90s are on their way to making an ironic hipster comeback. After all, fashion is cyclical. It takes about 20 years for something that was once a fashion faux pas, to be considered “cool” again (i.e. Wayfarers, Plaid flannel shirts, and ugh, fanny packs). So going by history, the Blossom hat could be here any day now.

Good riddance Blossom hat! May you never rear your ugly head again.

While Jay-Z picked a clear-cut time when he said “you can’t be running around in jerseys when you’re 30 years old,” it seems unfair to pick a specific age, a line-in-the-sand that allows adult men to wear a sports jersey one day, yet be completely forbidden from it the next.

A grown man in a personalized jersey? Pathetic

It should also be noted that not all sports-jerseys are created equal. A basketball jersey, for example, is intended to be worn with nothing under it, which is obviously not socially acceptable in a plethora of public situations.

When a young child is wearing a jersey with another human being’s name on the back, it is an adorable, marvelous symbol of that child’s admiration to that player. When an adult is wearing a jersey with another human being’s name in the back, specifically, one who is younger, it begins to wander into the realm of weird.

A similar rule applies to personalized jersey’s as well. A little kid wearing his own name on the back expresses an optimistic view of the future. An adult with his own name, or even worse, a message that only he and his buddies can understand, is pathetic and sad.

Besides, any person willing to spend $100 on a jersey with a personal joke on the back needs to find a better way to spend their money. Try a vanity license plate, to at least save yourself the embarrassment since people driving behind you won’t be able to see your face.

It would seem, when the fan begins to get older than the players, it is no longer acceptable to rock the jersey. However, this in no way shape or form means the team support should stop. T-shirts, sweatshirts and hats all guarantee you can still represent your favorite franchise while simultaneously acting your age.

Hyundai Superbowl Commercial

Now, I’m a female, but there are plenty of options out there for men that allot for both warmth and fashion. You don’t have to be Fred Astaire – even something simple like a nice pair of gloves or scarf can change a dumpy outfit into something sexy. Then again, for some men even that is asking too much. Read on for some the opposite sex’s worst winter fashion transgressions.

First off: bulky ski gloves. It’s right in the name – these gloves are made for skiing, not going to the movies or anything else. On any outing that does not involve winter sports, a man should wear a nice pair of leather gloves instead. Make this change, and you’ll gain at least 10 fashion points, no questions asked.

Next we have an assortment of ugly winter hats – pretty much anything with logos, patterns, or (gasp) pom poms. To avoid a one-way ticket to frumpy-town, men should invest in a simple, solid-colored cashmere hat, which will allow them to look warm and cool.

Finally, we come to the worst offender: the puffy “Pillsbury Doughboy” jacket. Unless you’re literally teaching families to make warm croissants, there is no excuse for such attire. Puffy jackets don’t look good on anyone, but they tend to appear particularly ridiculous on big, strong men. They might make you feel warm and cuddly inside, but the external effect is, as advertised, puffiness – wear one of these, and people will assume you had too much apple pie over the holidays.

Alternative to such heresy, men should invest in a stylish overcoat, which looks especially nice over a suit and is a great choice for meetings, parties, and vacations alike. I recommend a single-breasted jacket from Ralph Lauren or Hugo Boss. Invest in a good jacket, and you’ll instantly feel more mature – the ladies might notice too.